I'm Sorry

Dear Lord I know I owe you the deepest of apologies

I'm sorry doesn't even begin to cover
the choices I've made since that wonderful day
you saved this broken soul
You took the time to guide this heart of mine
on the path of grace and love and for that
I am and forever will be grateful

I'm sorry I fell so far so fast
Please take this heart and soul burning out all
that is not of you
Replacing it with everything that is you
I miss the fire you put inside me
The fire that burned deep in my bones
The fire I couldn't wait to tell anyone about
The fire that has been cooled by
secrets that lie deep in me

All I can do is ask for your forgiveness and
pray you see how sorry I am 

Why

Today oh Lord I have some questions I feel

I must ask at this moment in time
Since you blessed me with the gift of poetic verse
I'll use it to help others
who find themselves sitting where I sit now

Why did you give me such a loving heart?
A loving heart that wants so badly to
cling to the belief people are good at heart?
A heart that seems to be breaking
over and over again as of late?

Why do people insist on violating the
fragile thing I call trust?
I will patiently await your answers to
all these questions
Thank you Lord for your time

I Won

It was like I won the lottery when

I opened my heart to you and
your Holy Spirit made his home there
Heck, these feelings I carry inside each day are better
than the high one receives from winning money
A high I never thought I'd feel again
after losing loved ones I thought
I never would   

I know, maybe I was sheltered
The pain I felt was like having
a thousand pound weight on my chest
This pain is the kind you never think will heal
that was until He let me know
He will turn all my pain into something of beauty

The joy I feel knowing He wakes me
in the morning to face another day
good, bad or somewhere between the two
makes me stronger despite what others may think
I won happiness and
freedom because
He laid His life down at the cross for me
I'm beyond grateful for His sacrifice
I have chosen to live and
will choose to live for Him because
He is more than worthy of that
sacrifice on my part

Don't

I showed myself to you yesterday
nothing hidden or held back
You and I have a closeness only we understand
I have been there for you since
the beginning of time
My plans for you will blow your mind
I love you more than you can ever imagine

All your dreams and hearts desires
will come true
So this is my plea child
I have never nor will I ever give up on you
All I ask is that you
keep your focus on me
don't give up on the gift of faith I've given you

I Cry

Prophetic worship playing through my headphones

My heart filling to a point of overflow with tearful praise
I cry out I need you Lord, oh how I need you

I Love You But...

I love you but, not the way you think

I can't lie saying I never felt that kind of love for you but
I prayed He would burn the feelings I once had out of me
After you left me one day hiding un-cried tears burning my eyes
He told me that you would not ever break my heart again

Since that day I see you through different eyes
I see you through His eyes
Now I see there is potential in you
more than you realize
I only hope one day you are able to see
yourself through God's eyes like I do
Yes, I love you but
it's not out of feeling it's because
I made a choice to do so
despite my hurt and pain

From Pain to Beautiful

When He found me I was floating in an ocean of pain

I had been hurt more than I ever thought I would be
Tears streaming down my face in the dark night of this soul
tears I thought might drowned me more than once
He showed up for me as His word always says He will

The first time I heard the voice of my father
I stopped crying to hear Him say
I will take you from pain to beautiful
if you let me

Then I thought, half way between being awake and slumber
why would He take me from pain to beautiful?
I'm not sure I ever got the complete answer but,
I trust Him with all that I am