Christmas This Year

When some people think of Christmas
they think of shopping for the perfect gift
I know, I thought the same thing
just a short while ago before my life was
forever changed once again

Christmas this year and forever more
 will have a meaning I wish I could've seen
 without having gone through so much loss but
 I know pain helps one grow into something beautiful and
yes I've received a gift that will give me what I need from now on
All I have to do is pray to my God
If you're wondering I've been praying more than
I have in a long while

When I hear the word Christmas
the first person I think of is Jesus
Then I realize I am blessed with the people who are in my life because
He is the reason we are all here
So when you are opening gifts this year
think of the greatest gift we have ever and will ever receive

Everything I Held In My Heart

Here I am once again
asking an all to familiar question lord
Why?
Why call my father home now?
I wish you could answer me, but
I know I'll have to wait until it's my turn

I know my father and I
didn't have the relationship either of us wanted but,
God you know I tried more times than I can count because
I loved and still love him more then he knew
The tears I cry in the dead of  night
are for the father I miss from years past

Dad, if you can hear me
I just want to say I'm sorry
for everything I held in my heart that
I wanted to say but
didn't take that chance to say
God, please ease the pain in this heart of mine

This Fragile Heart

Dear God,

Yet again I find myself sitting here with a broken heart even though

I knew the ending of this chapter before it began

Why does this fragile heart you gave me

find it so easy to love others?

When it's so obvious they don't care a thing about me

A woman who would give someone special the world

if only given the chance to do so
Oh, but I do have the chance you gave everyone

I may not understand why this heart

you gave me is so fragile but

I know you tried to shield it before
I ever felt this pain
Thank you my dear father for this fragile heart 
at least I know you cared enough to love me beyond
what I know at this moment in time and
in turn I love you 

Your Miracle in Motion

 

As tears of pain fall from my eyes and

the heart you gave me breaks 

I sit here still knowing that I am and always will be
your miracle in motion

Just like all your children are

 

I can't see your purpose for my life yet because

The tears you'll one day wipe away

are now stinging my eyes
even though these tears continue to flow
I still remain eternally grateful to you
Thank you for the highs and lows of my life
For without the lows
I could not know the joys of this earth

As your miracle in motion I hope
I will be able to serve you as I am called to do
Thank you for helping me find real love
As your miracle in motion
I owe you everything
so do with me what you wish father
 

True Love

We spend our lives searching for true love but,

when we can't seem to find our definition of

what we believe true love to be

 We tend to give up

Even though our hearts seem to scream "don't give up!"

we try to stifle the voice inside and

we think true love is just a dream we will never reach

 

Take it for me a woman who's been on the same search and

in the end suffered the same disappointment

Now I see that disappointment as a blessing because

One day we'll all know the truth

The truth some like me already know 

 

I'm here to tell you true love does exist

Not in the form of a mortal man who makes mistakes but,

in the form of a man who paid the ultimate price

of dying for our sins

If that's not true love then

I don't know what is

His Gifts

I know we haven't met yet but,
I know you're out there looking for someone like me
Someone who has had her fair share of heartbreak and
is not afraid to tell you she is sensitive to it but,
still believes in the concept of love
The kind of love that at the end of a long hard day
one can be wrapped in, knowing they are safe and cared for

I hope God is as big a part of your life as He is in mine
When I tell you the stories of heartbreak I've been through you may ask,
How do you still have such a strong belief in God?
I will tell you my belief in God is the beauty that comes after the breaking
of this heart He gave me

Don't get me wrong, I know love isn't always a fairytale but
it is in those uncertain times
when we don't know what our next step should be
You  and I can count on the love we built to see us through
I will treasure your heart and love because
I know those are His gifts to me as mine are
His gifts to you as they forever should be

Ship Tossed

She's been tossed at sea many times before

God and her first mate have always been there
to guide her back to sure where she usually finds
the calm she misses so much these days
The waves seem to be taking pieces of her heart
scattering them where they may
Maybe one day the pieces of her bruised and broken heart
will build something beautiful from where they lay

If this ship tossed could ask one thing of the knower
She would ask Him every night when she sends
up her prayers and blessings to His kingdom if
He could please make sure He takes care of
her first mate

He Intrigues Her

He intrigues her more and more
with every text he sends
She'd  love to learn more about him and
hopes he'll let her in
He tries to hide beneath a thick skin but,
when all is said and done
she sees the beautiful heart he has within

Even though her heart skips a beat for him
like it once did
for another in her younger days
He gives her a ray of hope every time
he texts or calls her
Yet she still wonders if heartbreak will be left behind
or if love will win out in the end

This woman's heart is full of love
she hopes to share with the one who intrigues her
If he's lucky to receive her heart
she will love him with everything she has to give

Do You Think of Me?

There is a woman who's up tonight
not because she wants to be but,
because she made a choice she can't reverse now
On this sleepless night the brief moments you shared
play through her mind
As these blissful snapshots ignite a flame
deep within her soul she asks silently
Do you think of me?

The truth is she thinks of you and
wonders how you are, every chance she gets
Just once she'd like to read a, "Good Morning Beautiful text
like she use to not so long ago
Her heart can't keep beating in a rhythm that seems to be asking
Do you think of me?

If you're not thinking of her like you say you have been
please be the gentleman she believes you are and
let her go with your best wishes
So she may never again have to silently ask
Do you think of me?

I Love You

When you hear the words I love you
what do you think?
She once thought I love you meant
His heart was hers to protect and hold dear from
the time he gave it to her till forever past
Why would he hurt the woman he called the
love of his life?
Well now I love you is a three word phrase
that at the end of the day hurts like hell

She knows something now she always knew but
because she lost herself in their love
she managed to forget
She forgot how to love herself
Now when she looks in the mirror
she says I love you to the woman staring back

She hopes God will bring someone into her life
that can love her beyond her heart and past her soul
where only he and God dwell
Someone who says I love you and
means it as much as she will when
they find one another in God's time

Praying For Daylight

Dear God,
She knows she's been writing poems
to thank you since she found the gift you gave her long ago
This poem is no exception and like the others
it comes from her heart
A place she hopes she'll never stop believing in

You've seen her through some dark times as of late
Some of which she wishes she could forget
Never the less, the lessons you've
instilled in her, are full of value
she can use throughout her life

Even if she hasn't asked you aloud
you've heard her heart praying for daylight
Thank you; the daylight is finally breaking through the clouds
She is realizing even though her heart has been broken
many times on this journey she's been on
The dark times are blessings to