Dear Mom

I know no matter how old I getI’ll always be your little girl and
I want you to know I’ll always love you
Lately we’ve been getting on one another’s nerves
saying things we both know we don’t mean
Yet we’re not saying the things loved ones
should never leave unsaid
We’ve been through a lot you and I and
It hurts to hear you question my love
I know that phrase is made up of three little words but
I promise life has taught me not to use that phrase
unless I mean it
When it comes to you dear mom
I always have, and I always will mean it
I love you yet I have so much to say
Some of which might sting but
I have to be honest
Isn’t that what you taught me not so long ago?

I never wanted to be a burden to you
The truth is I feel like I have been
for quite some time and
I’m truly sorry but
I refuse to be your excuse for
your problems anymore
I wasn’t to blame for you dropping out of college
that was your own doing
I wasn’t to blame for coming into the world
with the disability God chose for me to face
that was a choice I had no say in but
I see it as a gift

I’m the daughter whose eyes you see
your own regret in when you gaze into them
The knowledge of that fact makes me want to cry but
I won’t because I know crying is the
one thing that makes me weak
at least in your eyes
I’m shedding your regret
like a heavy coat on a warm day

I want us to have a mother daughter relationship like we once did
when my mom was the center of my world and
I was the center of hers
When all is said and done
I’ll always be there whenever you need me